Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Review

There’s a new entry in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series on Netflix, and it certainly is a grisly affair. That is both for the characters in it, and unfortunately for the audiences who choose to sit through it!

Let’s get straight to the heart of the matter here. This isn’t the worst film ever, and probably isn’t the worst Texas Chainsaw Massacre film ever either, but it’s not a good film either. That doesn’t mean there isn’t some fun to be had, but you’d be best served by switching your brain off whilst watching and not letting the film’s lack of logic, or obvious inspiration and lack of originality bother you.

Let’s start with the lack of originality, as this film is 110% inspired by the 2018 Halloween film. Just like that film, Texas Chainsaw is a direct sequel to the first film in it’s franchise and ignores all the sequels and reboots and remakes that have come since. It also therefore catches up with the main villain and hero of the 1970s movie now close to 50 years later.

Now, in my opinion the 2018 Halloween was a really good film (for the most part) and that was in part because Jamie Lee Curtis is a great actor and there is a rich history of her being the lead actor in the Halloween series. Bringing her back to face Michael Myers again 40 years after their first encounter did make for an interesting story.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre have tried to replicate this very blatantly by bringing back the main hero character from the original film Sally Hardesty, who is now played by Olwen Fouere as original actress Marylin Burns passed away a few years ago. Olwen is a respected actress, and does a good job here, but the mistake is that most horror movie audiences probably don’t see kick ass grannys as the future of the genre. You wouldn’t believe it however with this along with Halloween and Terminator Dark Fate all going this route. At 67 years old, the idea of Sally being a match to face off with Leatherface (who seems to defy his own age) is kinda ridiculous.

Speaking of kinda ridiculous, the plot of the film has some social media influencers…or something like that, who have bought a whole town…or maybe a street…I’m not sure at this stage. But either way, they’ve decided to buy up this run down area right in the heart of where the mass killings of 40 years earlier happened. Then, upon arriving in this town, the super friends, Dante, Lila, Ruth and Melody instantly get into a dispute with one old lady who has refused to leave her home.

Of course, this old lady would turn out to be the mother of Leatherface, so god knows how old she is supposed to be, but for logic to work she must be in her nineties. They argue with the lady when they say she has to be removed from her home and she has a heart attack and dies. Ruth of the social media super friends goes in a vehicle with mother, Leatherface, and two cops when she dies and this sets off Leatherface in a rage. He kills them all and then cuts off his mother’s face to wear so he can truly be Leather Face…instead of just Face…I guess.

So, Ruth is killed and never mentioned again or missed by her friends.

Meanwhile, back in the town, a party bus of investors turns up just as a local rough type, Richter confiscates the super friends car keys. He was aware that the old lady died because of them and that they bullied her out of her home. So now Melody goes into mother’s home to find the deeds to steal them only for Leatherface to return home and get his chainsaw.

Dante is killed by Leatherface and even though one of the party bus guests and Richter find this out, they don’t warn anyone so that Leatherface can come and kill them all in a blood bath a few minutes later.

Literally no one in this movie reacts or behaves in a way that makes any sense. The party bus see Leatherface and all get their phones out to film and one warns that if he tries anything he’ll be cancelled. It’s such garbage writing, it completely undermines the character and the gravity of the situation.

Melody and Lila look done for, but Sally arrives to go all Sarah Connor against Leatherface. For some crazy reason, Sally keeps Melody and Lila captive in her car with the idea that Leatherface is after them and so they may be useful bait. Sally then goes to speak with Mr Face and has a gun on him at point blank range, but the two don’t engage in any combat whilst she laments that he doesn’t even remember her from 50 years earlier.

This crazy scene mimics Halloween 2018 to the point that Sally begs him to say something just as the Doctor in Halloween begged Michael to speak.

Sally, for her failed chat up lines with Leatherface then gets killed by being chainsawed through her middle. This was all so pointless to bring back a character after this long and just have the villain kill them. It changes the meaning of the previous film as we now know that even though she escaped then, she would eventually get killed by Leatherface. Again, just as John Connor would get killed in Terminator Dark Fate meaning that his survival in Terminator 2 was equally pointless.

But just to add to the dumbness here, Sally despite being obviously cut in bits is still alive a few minutes later to throw the girls her gun. They then crash their car and have to battle to the death with Leatherface and finally manage to defeat him in the same way the T-1000 was defeated at the end of Terminator 2. A few blasts with a gun until he falls into a vat of molten metal…expect in this movie Leatherface falls all of 2 foot and lands in six inches of water.

And after all this horror and terror, the surviving sisters get into their self driving car and joke about not moving to this town after all. How can anyone joke at a time like this? Dante and Ruth are dead. Their party bus were massacred and they had to fight a giant man wearing his mother’s face to the death. And they’re making jokes?!

Well the joke was on them as Leatherface of course wasn’t dead and came back to cut Melody’s head off. The end. They even had Leatherface do the same exact swinging of his chainsaw that he does at the end of every film.

Conclusion

This isn’t a good film. It’s dumb and illogical and if anything, it damages the story of the original knowing that the hero of the first film would just be killed by Leatherface 50 years later anyway. Still, if you can watch it going in knowing all this, and not caring about it making much sense there is a little fun to be had here. I mean, it’s not the worst movie ever. Which is the best compliment I can give it.