I know. So many people do. It’s like comic book movie Marmite.
But before you all label me a Snyder Bro in the comments…it’s not because I just wanted them to make Man of Steel 2. Oh no. I hated James Gunn’s Superman for reasons it earned all on its own. Superman didn’t feel like Superman. Superman was played like Starlord and mostly a doofus.
We didn’t get the quiet confidence or sense of authority or strength and kindness that every other live action Superman has had and is the primary presentation of the character. Lois Lane was thinking of dumping Superman for half the movie. That is a long way removed from Margot Kidder’s Lois being so smitten with Superman that during their flying scene together we heard a voice over poem about how she loves Superman.
Superman was defeated physically by a clone of himself that was being controlled by Lex Luthor calling instructions on moves that Ultra Man should do against him.
This was nonsense.
Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, but not faster than Lex Luthor calling instructions to a lackey who then has to type in the commands into a computer than get relayed to the controlled Superman clone.
So many characters who were civilians just stood around when there was the giant monster or battle with the Hammer of Boravia, or the pocket dimension ripping a hole in the city.
That famous shot of Superman saving the girl scout happens several minutes into when Superman is fighting the giant monster. Why was she stood there? Why were any of the people still in their offices? None of it made any sense. Maybe Warner Bros insisted on making a change from the death and destruction that would have happened in Superman’s battles in the Snyderverse, but the way this was handled was pathetic.
When fighting the Hammer and the Monster none of the civilians were running for their lives, and they actually went as far as to say that the entire city of metropolis was evacuated when the pocket universe was ripping the city in half. There was zero chance they could have evacuated the whole city, and even if they could have or did, all that did was lower the stakes. Who was Superman saving? The city was already clear. And sure, if the pocket dimension had kept ripping the world apart it would have killed everyone, but Lex was always in control to close it himself so that was never going to happen. No people at risk just meant dramatically lower stakes.
Speaking of saving anyone, Superman did save the little girl, and he did save a squirrel, but the latter was done in such a lame way it was as if to make Superman being such a boy scout by even saving a squirrel to make him seem a joke. Other than this, who did Superman save on screen?
Superman suggested that they kill the monster by euthanasia which was terrible for Superman who they just showed saving a squirrel to say.
He is said to have stopped a war and saved people, but they didn’t show this at all. And in fact, he was criticised for doing so…by Lois Lane. Then then had Lois argue with him and Superman lose his cool and shout and argue with Lois. Not Superman like behaviour at all.
Lois actually did more to help save Superman then he ever did save her in the movie. In fairness Superman did save elemental man’s green baby. And yeah he did defeat Ultra Man, although actually it was Krypto who saved Superman here. Krypto was also the one to beat up Lex Luthor.
Meanwhile Superman gave a speech to Lex, who earlier in the movie had shot and murdered a friend of Superman’s. This speech was Superman justifying to Lex that he is human and flawed, and suggesting to Lex that he could be good as well…forgetting that he just killed his friend and tried to kill millions more. Or actually perhaps not, as the entire city was easily evacuated.
Then Mr Terrific who along with Lois had saved Superman from the pocket Dimension earlier, then turned up and used a computer to stop the pocket dimension ripping the world in half…which even he didn’t need to do as one of Lex’s lackeys volunteered to do it first.
Superman defeated Ultra man and then he flew up and murdered a bunch of Lex’s army with his heat vision and punches.
Perry White had nothing to do, but him and lover boy stud version of Jimmy Olsen instantly knew that Superman and Lois were a couple.
All the trouble in the film began when Lex Luthor showed the translated message from Superman’s parents, who in this film we just see from one camera angle for 20 seconds speaking in a foreign language that no one, including Superman, can understand. Then using an evil robot mutant metahuman she translates to say that Superman’s parents wanted him to rule the earth and kill anyone who dissent from this…what?
Now, this kind of story has been used before, including on screen in Smallville where it is said that Clark finds out that his Kryptonian parents wanted him to rule Earth…but according to James Gunn, this isn’t something that would be revealed to be a misunderstanding or not the case later…hmmm.
Superman initially believes that the footage must have been doctored, but just on the word of Mr Terrific he says no way could it not be real…because he knows the people who would have translated it, even though we know that it was the evil robot spinny hand woman who did it.
So once people heard Superman’s parent’s message, they all instantly cancelled him and Superman handed himself over to Lex Luthor to be arrested.
Then at the end Lex Luthor cries when he gets cancelled. In this movie, both Superman and Lex Luthor are cancelled and that is the main way they are defeated.
Except of course, Superman is defeated by the Hammer of Boravia at the start, but this turned out to be his own evil clone, which he was made from one of Superman’s hairs which is the same nonsense that everyone has complained about since 1987 in Superman IV with Nuclear Man. And Lex just states that he was easy to clone and the clone was even easier to control… no details needed.
I guess ‘somehow Palpatine returned’ is a good enough justification these days…
And after Superman is defeated at the very start of the movie, he is then taken back to the fortress of solitude where his army of talking AI Super robots live…and Krypto, and as we find out, his cousin Supergirl…the place is meant to be the fortress of solitude!.. that means no one should be there.
And the robots then say they don’t care if Superman or his dog dies at all – who built these things, because they don’t seem like they were made by doofus Superman.
And Superman who gets his powers from a yellow sun is helped to be healed by the robots who can estimate what percentage healed Superman is to say he is only 83% healed…how would they know. He’s not a phone that shows how much he is charged.
Oh, and let’s talk about Supergirl…Her debut shows her as a drunk who staggers about and called Superman a bitch. This Superman and Supergirl – they’re meant to be role models, and this was how they chose to showcase them. She’s a drunk and he’s a bitch?
Plus, the whole #supershit thing is something they just didn’t need to put into the film themselves. Like how James Gunn scripted it into the end of the first season of Peacemaker that they suggest that Aqua Man fucks fish. These are the kind of franchise damaging lines that trolls on the internet may say, but James Gunn thought it was better to script them into the franchise and commit these ideas on film forever for everyone to see?
And lastly…for now, they establish that Metahumans have been around for a long time, and that in this world there is already Mr Terrific, Green Lanterns, Hawk Girl, Peacemaker, Supergirl, Ultra Man, Elemental Man, and definitely others…so when Sueprman emerged just three years before the start of the story, I ask you all, what exactly made him ‘Super’? Because it sounds like there were already dozens of other super humans in the world.
And if everyone is a Super man or woman, why would anyone see Cal El as Super at all?
Love movie and pop culture theories and dicussion?
You can get loads more Movie and TV Show articles in the Movies section of the site, and don’t forget to check out all our pop culture videos and Geek Battle Podcast on the Geek Battle social channels below:
Geek Battle Tiktok page
Geek Battle YouTube Channel
Geek Battle Instagram
